why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
