did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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