are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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