you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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