Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
