i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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