Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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