Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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