lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
