we have officially lost it.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Did you just see the Batmobile???
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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