i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
