Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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