so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
