i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
