some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
