I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
This is the high leading the old right now
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
