So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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