you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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