Non-Jews are for practice
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
