I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Randomize
