My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I just found puke in my bra..
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
