Your tits are I can't wait for
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Boobs are out for the taking
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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