If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
