My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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