Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
