My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
