spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
