seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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