Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
