try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
