What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
