I'm really into asian looking animals
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Randomize
