one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
