Your mouth is God's brothel.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Randomize
