It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize