Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
