But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
