Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
