Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
