At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
