can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
