So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
