next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
