I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
