I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
When are your genitals available?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
