But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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