K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
