Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
