So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
