It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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