I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
We had to coat check the pizza.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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