I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
