i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
