I can text with my tongue
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Randomize
