I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
