bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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