I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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