Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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